Sunday, September 4, 2016

September Goals

This isn't going to be an update like I usually do at the beginning of the month. For one thing, I'm late posting this at all. I normally post my update on the first. I can honestly say that I only completed one of my goals from last month. I'll show you.

Here are my goals from August:
* Write 10,000 words

* See "Star Trek Beyond"!

* Read three books


One goal. It's something. I guess. But I didn't do any writing or reading. None. I loved "Star Trek Beyond" though. I possibly saw it 3 times. :) Although I did finally manage to catch up on some house work and get my apartment cleaned. I'm still working my 50-55 hours a week. It's just tiring. But that's not the only thing on my mind.

Here's where my post gets more personal.

A few months ago, I went to the doctor for shingles. (I'm definitely glad that has healed.) While I was at the doctor, he wanted to talk about my blood pressure which has always been elevated. It was high enough that he decided not to wait any longer. He gave me a prescription. I admit that medication does make me feel better. I get less headaches and I feel better overall. But there was something he asked me. Before he gave me the prescription, he asked if he could be a little more personal. He asked if I was planning on getting pregnant in the next year because the medicine he was giving me wasn't the best for that and he had other choices. Of course, I made a joke about virgin births and said no.

But his question has stuck for me for a while now.

I'm twenty-seven years old and in December, I'll be twenty-eight. I'm not getting any younger. I'd dated a few guys, but I've always struggled with being in a relationship. I don't like to be too close and I hate being smothered by the person. No, don't text me multiple times to check on me or always want to be touching me. I'm not a touchy-feely person. (On a side note, my sister is the same way.) I'm just not a physically intimate person. It makes it hard to me to stay in a relationship. I just want out after a while. I'm okay being single. I've accepted that I might not get married and I'm okay with that. Some days I want it, but that's pretty rare. I'm happy as who I am.

My adorable siblings :)
There's something I'm not happy about. I have a strong desire to be a mom. I always have. I love children and I work with kids. Ever since I found out where babies come from, I've wanted to be a mom. But I don't necessary just want to adopt. I do love adoption, since I have an adopted sister and brother, who I love to pieces. But there's something about having my own child, feeling it kick, and be mine. I strongly desire that.

I'm not old, but I'm not getting any younger. And I don't think a woman should be forced to be married to have a child. We live in a non-traditional world anymore. I looked into artificial insemination. The cost is quite high. So I looked into doing it on my own with a known donor sperm. I won't go into details, but the male I had talked to, he decided he couldn't do it. That's fine. I gave him the choice, but I didn't realize how much it would hurt. I'm not going to give up on my dream, but it's harder. I don't want to wait until I'm 35 or older to have kids, though some do. I'm the most healthy now and it's better for my body and the baby.

I want to be financially secure first, of course. I'm really working on that. But I can't wait forever. :) I'm still deciding what my new step will be. I know that even though the child won't have a father, I have a great support system who would help raise a child. It'll feel impossible some days, but I can't imagine not being a mom someday.

Sorry if that was too personal, but that's really been weighing on my mind. I believe that I'm a strong woman and I can do it. I just need to figure out how.

I am going to do some goals, but they will be a little less for this month.

Goals for September:
* Read "Harry Potter and the Cursed Child"

* Read "The Girl Before" by Rena Olsen
I know the author! I can't wait to read her book!

* Buy "Captain America Civil War" on Blu-Ray
I have mine pre-ordered and I'm waiting to get it!

* Start planning my Hocus Pocus Halloween Party!


Hopefully I can accomplish some of those goals and at least catch up on my reading goal for this year. I'm falling behind. Please don't judge me too harshly for being honest. I hope the rest of your Labor Day weekend goes well! I'm off to spend time with a friend and possibly go tubing tomorrow. How did your goals from last month go?

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

August Goals/IWSG - Finding Time

It's a new month and I've been at my new job for three weeks! I'm really enjoying my new job. I'm working as an infant teacher and starting to bond with the little ones. I'm enjoying my baby cuddles! I'm going to miss the big kids at the school, but I really do like playing with the little kids now. :) Also, I'm cutting down hours at my retail job, so hopefully I have a little less stress and more writing time!

It's time for an update in goals!

Here are my goals from July:
* Write 10,000 words

* Read four books

* Buy a new bookcase

Isn't my new bookcase beautiful?? :)

I love my Captain America figurines!

I completed all of my goals from last month!! Yay! :) I also did get my reading done. Barely. :) I managed to read three books, though I wanted to read more. My to-read list keeps growing!!

It's Not Summer Without You (Summer, #2) by Jenny Han
We'll Always Have Summer (Summer, #3) by Jenny Han
Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay

Goals for August:
* Write 10,000 words

* See "Star Trek Beyond"!
I love Star Trek so much!!! :)

* Read three books


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Also, today is a meeting of The Insecure Writer's Support Group, which posts on the first Wednesday of every month and is run by our Ninja Captain Alex Cavanaugh. This is a place where writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds.

To make this post short, I'm really feeling insecure about finding time to write!! I'm work an average of 50 to 60 hours a week between my two jobs. I love both jobs, but it's a lot of work. It's hard to find any time for writing, which is hard. When I'm not working, I'm trying to find time to relax.


How do you balance work and writing? :)

Friday, July 1, 2016

July Goals

It's July! :) I can honestly say that last month started rough, but it got much better. I did well with my goals! And I have today off work, so I'm planning on hopefully going to see "Finding Dory"! Yes, I'm an adult, but I've waited so long for this movie!

It's also the first of the month and time for an update in my goals.

Here are my goals from June:
* Write 5,000 words
On anything! I actually wrote 10,000 words on a novel and about 5,000 on a fun project. :) It feels pretty good to be writing!

* Write a plan for life changes

I didn't write a full plan, but I did find a job!!

* See "Me Before You" in theaters!


I almost did it! The only goal I didn't get to was the last one. I waited too long and the movie was gone from my local theater before I could get a chance to see it. Though I confess that I saw "Captain America: Civil War", 3 times last month. :) It was totally worth it. I'll just see "Me Before You" when it comes out on DVD. As for reading, I didn't do as much, but I'm still ahead with my goal, so that's okay. :) Here are the books I did read:

The Summer I Turned Pretty (Summer, #1) by Jenny Han
Robyn (Making a Splash, #1) by Jade Parker

Two books is still better than reading no books. :)

Goals for July:
* Write 10,000 words
On new novel! Or on fun project! Just keep writing!

* Read four books

* Buy a new bookcare
I've had the same little bookcase for years and I'm ready for a bigger one. :)


How did your goals from June go? What are your goals for July? I'm off to get read to see "Finding Dory"!

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Starting Now

It's half way through June and summer is... alright so far. I'm applying for jobs and trying to figure out what I want to do. Which involves a lot of staring at my computer, and watching reruns of "Law and Order: SVU". I have been working on one thing.

I'm a part of the YAvengers blog. I'm Thor. :)


It's something that I joined last year, but we've all been pretty busy and the blog has slowed to a stop. I've been working with one of the other members, Captain America, and helping to recruit some new members to the blog and join us! I've wanted to write again. Well, at least to write on the blog again. I haven't had much progress with working on a new novel yet. I'm still a bit stuck, but I'm working on that. I plan on spending my afternoon writing tomorrow.

Writing used to be this passion I had, but as I've been beaten a bit by the world, it has lost some meaning for me. I've become really tired of waiting for a dream that might never happen. I'm trying to find that passion again. I'm really hoping that I can find that passion again. If I find that passion again, maybe the rest of my life will start to fall into place again. It is possible that I'm putting too much pressure on my writing. I know that. But I'm getting to a point in my life where I've been pretty frustrated. Careers haven't been working out, I'm single at 27, working multiple jobs and not being able to pay bills, along with my writing dream remaining stagnant.

It's been hard the last few months.

I've had three friends make baby announcements in two days. I'm excited for them, but throwing a pity party for myself. It was hard when my friends started getting married before me and now they are having kids while I'm still painfully single. It was hard when my friends started getting agents and now they have books being published, when I can't even decide if I'm a good writer. I'm feeling a bit insecure in my life.

I'm trying to make things better, but it's really been a struggle lately. Sorry if this post was a little honest, but this is me and I'm struggling right now.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

June Goals/IWSG

It's the first day of summer! (I know it's not the official first day.) But in Iowa, June starts the beginning of summer! Today was gorgeous and at my school job, the kids got to play outside as a special party and they had a bouncy house. It was a lot of fun! I got a little sunburned, but I loved being outside.

I moved this past weekend! Which was exhausting and I'm still settling into my new apartment. But I did turn in the keys for the old today and I'm hopefully getting internet at my place on Saturday. I'm borrowing my parent's wifi today. Not having internet sucks. Last month was a bit challenging with packing, work stress, and on top of that, I had shingles! Yep, sucked. But it's healed now and I'm trying to reorganize my life this summer. That's a start.

It's time for an update in goals!

Here are my goals from May:
* Write 5,000 words

* Pack/move to new apartment

* See "Captain America: Civil War" in theaters
Super excited for this one! I'm definitely #TeamCap!


I still didn't get any writing done! Gah!! I really want to get back into writing, but time has been a big issue for me. I did do some reading.

Me Before You by Jojo Moyes
My Life Next Door by Huntley Fitzpatrick
The Year We Fell Apart by Emily Martin
This Is Where It Ends by Marieke Nijkamp

Goals for June:
* Write 5,000 words
On anything! I'm hoping to start a new novel this month!

* Write a plan for life changes
I need to write my plan and get started. :)

* See "Me Before You" in theaters!
I read the book and now I'm read to see it!

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Also, today is a meeting of The Insecure Writer's Support Group, which posts on the first Wednesday of every month and is run by our Ninja Captain Alex Cavanaugh. This is a place where writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds.

To make this post short, I'm really feeling insecure about writing at all! I love it, but I'm not making the time for it. :( Hopefully I can change that this month! :)

How do you find time to write when you are unmotivated?

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

IWSG - Just Keep Trying


 Hello! Today is a meeting of The Insecure Writer's Support Group, which posts on the first Wednesday of every month and is run by our Ninja Captain Alex Cavanaugh. This is a place where writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds.

 This month, I'm feeling a bit insecure about writing a book that others will want to read. I've written eleven and I've yet to find one that's good enough to be published. I'm trying. :) And I'm not giving up, but now I'm so focused on the novel that I think is good enough and it's become hard to find a novel and not stop writing it after a few chapters.


I keep starting a novel and realizing that... Nope, that one is not gonna work out. I'm starting another new one today and maybe I'll try outlining it to see if it improves. It's hard too when I've been stressed about work and now I'm moving to a new apartment at the end of the month. Add to that, I found out that I have shingles today, which yes, it is pretty painful. Gah!

I'm hoping that once this month is over, I can be a little more settled and not so stressed. I need to get back into my writing time. :) What are you insecure about this month?

Monday, May 2, 2016

May Goals

It's May!! It is almost summer and I'm moving to a new apartment in less than a month. I'll be excited not to deal with the "fun" of living in a building that's undergoing construction. I found a nice little place that even has my own washer and dryer! It's the little things. :)

It's also time for an update in my monthly goals!

Here are my goals from April:
* Write to 15,000 words on "Charlotte"

* Visit Secret Destination on April 9th
I loved this one! I met Billy Boyd, which was AMAZING! You can read it about it here if you haven't.

* Enjoy seeing "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"!!!!



Two out of three goals isn't bad! I didn't do any writing last month. I did enter #FicFest, but I'm waiting to find out if I got in. If not, it's always fun entering a contest! I did do a ton of reading last month! (The purple ones are rereads.)

City of Heavenly Fire (The Mortal Instruments #6) by Cassandra Clare
One Paris Summer by Denise Grover Swank
Crazy About Love (All about Love #3) by Cassie Mae
The Siren by Kiera Cass
Hatchet by Gary Paulsen
Ripple by Mandy Hubbard
Defending Taylor by Miranda Kenneally

Even if I didn't really get any writing done last month, I did do a lot of reading! :) I have been pretty consistent with reading. I'm up to 22 out of my goal for 50 books this year. I'm hoping to do more than my goal.

Goals for May:
* Write 5,000 words
It doesn't matter what, but I'm trying to get into writing again!

* Pack/move to new apartment

* See "Captain America: Civil War" in theaters
Super excited for this one! I'm definitely #TeamCap!

How did your goals from April go? What are your goals for May? Have a great Monday!