Wednesday, May 4, 2016

IWSG - Just Keep Trying

 Hello! Today is a meeting of The Insecure Writer's Support Group, which posts on the first Wednesday of every month and is run by our Ninja Captain Alex Cavanaugh. This is a place where writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds.

 This month, I'm feeling a bit insecure about writing a book that others will want to read. I've written eleven and I've yet to find one that's good enough to be published. I'm trying. :) And I'm not giving up, but now I'm so focused on the novel that I think is good enough and it's become hard to find a novel and not stop writing it after a few chapters.

I keep starting a novel and realizing that... Nope, that one is not gonna work out. I'm starting another new one today and maybe I'll try outlining it to see if it improves. It's hard too when I've been stressed about work and now I'm moving to a new apartment at the end of the month. Add to that, I found out that I have shingles today, which yes, it is pretty painful. Gah!

I'm hoping that once this month is over, I can be a little more settled and not so stressed. I need to get back into my writing time. :) What are you insecure about this month?

Monday, May 2, 2016

May Goals

It's May!! It is almost summer and I'm moving to a new apartment in less than a month. I'll be excited not to deal with the "fun" of living in a building that's undergoing construction. I found a nice little place that even has my own washer and dryer! It's the little things. :)

It's also time for an update in my monthly goals!

Here are my goals from April:
* Write to 15,000 words on "Charlotte"

* Visit Secret Destination on April 9th
I loved this one! I met Billy Boyd, which was AMAZING! You can read it about it here if you haven't.

* Enjoy seeing "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"!!!!

Two out of three goals isn't bad! I didn't do any writing last month. I did enter #FicFest, but I'm waiting to find out if I got in. If not, it's always fun entering a contest! I did do a ton of reading last month! (The purple ones are rereads.)

City of Heavenly Fire (The Mortal Instruments #6) by Cassandra Clare
One Paris Summer by Denise Grover Swank
Crazy About Love (All about Love #3) by Cassie Mae
The Siren by Kiera Cass
Hatchet by Gary Paulsen
Ripple by Mandy Hubbard
Defending Taylor by Miranda Kenneally

Even if I didn't really get any writing done last month, I did do a lot of reading! :) I have been pretty consistent with reading. I'm up to 22 out of my goal for 50 books this year. I'm hoping to do more than my goal.

Goals for May:
* Write 5,000 words
It doesn't matter what, but I'm trying to get into writing again!

* Pack/move to new apartment

* See "Captain America: Civil War" in theaters
Super excited for this one! I'm definitely #TeamCap!

How did your goals from April go? What are your goals for May? Have a great Monday!

Monday, April 11, 2016

Just This Once

This past weekend, I decided to do something different.

One of my friends invited me to come see her over the weekend. I spent most of my week, trying to pick up an extra shift at work and switch shifts so I could get someone else to take my Saturday shift. It almost didn't work out. It got under my skin and it irritated me. When I was lying in my bed, I realized why it bothered me so much. I'm gonna be honest with you. Some times my life just sucks. I work 50-55 hours a week, two jobs and two paychecks that never seem to add up enough to pay for rent, bills, food, gas for my car to get to work, etc. I'm exhausted. I'm worn out to the point where I could sit on my couch and cry, but I know it wouldn't change anything. So, I'm strong. I push down the feelings and I continue to work, trying to someday get ahead or enough that I'm not always struggling and stressed. I realized that my life is controlled by my work.

I know that in this world, you have to work to live. But it's become the main thing I'm concerned about. If I'm not at work, I'm getting ready to go work at my other job or I'm trying to catch six hours of sleep between laundry, dishes, cleaning, and trying to write. Sadly, writing comes last and I don't put myself first. It's hard for me to do.

I finally got off work and pushed aside the stress to get in the car for a five-hour drive to Madison, Wisconsin. My friend lives there and she invited me to Wizard World Comic Con with her on Saturday. Let me get this straight, I don't like large crowds of people and it makes me want to seclude myself. I get really quiet and don't want anyone bumping into me. It's my own personal social anxiety. Yes, I can be a bubbly person and I work customer service, so I can talk about the weather until I'm blue in the face, but I'm actually kind of shy and people make me anxious.

Saturday - sorry, I'm trying to stay on this thought. The point is, I met Billy Boyd. :) Billy Boyd who played Pippin Took in The Lord of the Rings, from my favorite book and movie series. We went to his panel and sat in the second row. I couldn't talk. As excited as I was, I felt people claustrophobic. But as soon as Billy stepped on stage, I felt such excitement. He kept everyone laughing the entire time! I loved it. He talked about pranks that he played, such as putting a fish in Sean Bean's car and they never told him, even after he complained his car stunk! :)

My friend is pretty awesome and she really helped me because this was her treat to me, along with a photo with Billy Boyd. I've never been so shaky as I walked up to him and he put his arm around me. It was only a few seconds, but I thanked him and he turned to me with a genuine smile and said "You are very welcome." I'll never forget it.

It's long been a dream of mine to meet someone from the cast of the Lord of the Rings. I'm so happy that it was Billy. He'll never remember it, but it was such an incredible moment for me. I felt special. I can't stop smiling about it. My friends teased me that I looked so star-struck in the picture, but I love it so much. It's that smile because I met a celebrity, yes, but I also accomplished a dream. I made a difference in my life. It makes me want to change my life.

I'm sure no one actually made it to the end of this, but I want to change. I'm tired of the mundane, work-obsessed life. I'm tired of crying in the car or being unable to pay bills. I don't want to throw another pity party. I want to change my life so I'm able to go on trips and meet new people. I'm so tired of not living my life. I'm gonna change it. This month, it's my plan to change my life in some way. I need a change. It's hard, but I want to live my life and have dreams that I can reach. :)

And someday, I'd love to go to another Comic Con and see Billy Boyd again or another actor that I've admired. I'm ready for a new, better life.

Sunday, April 3, 2016

April Goals

It's hard to believe that it's already April! I'm passing on the A to Z Challenge again this year. I'm late on an update with my goals for this month! I've been a little busy with life, but I'm trying to work it out. I have a friend who really wants me to come visit next weekend, so I'm scrambling to change some work schedules, along with trying to find a summer job too since my school job ends. It's a bit hectic.

Here are my goals from March:
* Write to 10,000 words on "Charlotte"

* Read three books

* Relax some over Spring Break

I didn't get to all of them. Mostly the writing goal. My writing has really been lacking the last few two months. Other than some extreme revisions, I'm a bit stuck, waiting for news on that novel and I'm struggling to work on another one in the waiting period. I did do some reading last month! That helps. The purple ones are rereads.

Flirting with Fame (Flirting with Fame #1) by Samantha Joyce
City of Fallen Angels (The Mortal Instruments #4) by Cassandra Clare
You Can't Catch Me by Cassie Mae
Dead Girl by Tessa Marie
City of Lost Souls (The Mortal Instruments #5) by Cassandra Clare

I'm trying to get back into requesting books on Netgalley to increase my reading of new books and review writing. I have a few now and that's exciting! I like getting to read new books.

Goals for April:
* Write to 15,000 words on "Charlotte"

* Visit Secret Destination on April 9th
If I get to this one, I will definitely let you know! :)

* Enjoy seeing "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"!!!!

Hopefully this month will go well and I'll be able to hopefully have a super exciting weekend coming up and to be able to mark something off my bucket list! How did your goals from March go?

Monday, March 14, 2016


Spring break!

Today is one of two days that I don't work at either job since it is spring break at the school I work at. I thought I'd take some time to blog. I haven't done much blogging so far this year, which is disappointing on my end. I've been meaning to do it, but I've become so wrapped up in work and in revisions. I finished those revisions and decided I'd start something else.

I've started two ideas just this month and I don't like either of them. My sister was texting me earlier in the day, asking if I'd started something new. As a side note, my sister is my biggest supporter of my writing. I love my big sis. She loves to read my manuscripts and I share all of my ideas with her. If I could dedicate every book I wrote to her, I would. :)

She's my twin (if only we weren't two years apart)
I started talking about the book I'd started a few months ago, before I dove into revisions of a novel I've been working on a lot. She commented that it was darker than the other books I've written. It is. I think that's why it has been harder to me to write it, but at the same time, I started mentioning some other books I've written to her. I realized that it might not be time to write a new novel. I have at least four novels that aren't awful, but need a lot of revisions, are just waiting on my computer.

Something came to mind. I'm good at writing a first draft, but I'm not big at then revising it once I finish. I set it aside and never come back to it. If I loved those characters so much when I wrote them, why wouldn't I want to make their story better? Why don't I revise those novels and see what lost potential they have? Then I can start something new.

So, that's what I'm going to do! I pulled out a novel that I wrote during NaNoWriMo two years ago and rewrote once, but it needs some love. I'm willing to give it another chance. :) Do you ever find yourself abandoning first drafts of novels? Have a great Monday!

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

IWSG - To Hope

Hello! Today is a meeting of The Insecure Writer's Support Group, which posts on the first Wednesday of every month and is run by our Ninja Captain Alex Cavanaugh. This is a place where writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds. The awesome co-hosts today are Lauren Hennessy, Lisa Buie-Collard, Lidy, Christine Rains, and Mary Aalgaard!  Be sure to visit their blogs and thank them!

Last month, I was feeling quite a bit insecure about the revisions I was working on for my novel, "Silent Beauty". I really wanted my revisions to mean something more than just added scenes. Those new scenes needed to be important and contain emotion. I spent all of last month on it. (I'm not kidding, my apartment is a disaster because most of my free time, between the two jobs, went into writing.) I'm really happy with how it turned out!

I really hope that these revisions help my novel and that they help the reader connect with the characters and not just the "good" characters, but understand all of them. I want it to evoke an emotion with them. Much like this!

I know that's a few years old, but a friend shared it today and I loved how powerful it is. I hope I can read something that will make someone feel like that.

Have a great Wednesday! If you are feeling down about writing or revisions, know that it's gonna be okay. Take it one day at a time and give your best. That's what counts. You wrote something and it meant something to you. :)

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

March Goals

Last month was a short month, but I actually feel like I accomplished quite a bit! I did spend my leap day home sick, but that's okay. I managed to finish some work yesterday.

It's time for an update with my writing goals!

Here are my goals from February:
* Work on revisions for "Silent Beauty"
I'm hoping to go from 60,000 to 75,000 on this new draft. :) I need to rewrite the ending!

* Find a fun way to celebrate Valentine's Day

I'd say it was a very successful month! I'm really pleased how my revisions turned out. I wasn't sure that I could make it from 57,000 to 75,000 but I loved adding some fun scenes and deep scenes with one of the characters. Rewriting the ending was a bit tricky, but it fits so much better! I'm so happy with my book now! I'm even more in love with it, if that's even more possible. :)

As for reading, I didn't do as much as last month, but I was really working hard on revisions. The purple ones are rereads.

City of Glass (The Mortal Instruments #3) by Cassandra Clare
City of Ashes (The Mortal Instruments #2) by Cassandra Clare
Do You Know the Monkey Man? by Dori Hillestad Butler
The Game of Lives (The Mortality Doctrine #3) by James Dashner
What You Left Behind by Jessica Verdi

They were all pretty good! :)

Goals for March:
* Write to 10,000 words on "Charlotte"

* Read three books

* Relax some over Spring Break

Some easy goals for the next month! How did your goals from February go and what are your goals for March?