Monday, September 5, 2011

First Campaign Challenge

Today is the first Campaign Challenge over at Rach Writes... so we were given a prompt that had be included and told to write a flash fiction piece.  Mine is exactly 200 words!! :)  So, here it is!

COUNTED BUT LOST

The door swung open with a hard bang, echoing down the long hallway.  Liora pulled her knees to her chest, adjusting her long dress and refusing to look up at the man.

“Get up,” he snarled.  “It’s your turn.”

Liora slowly stood and he grabbed her arm, yanking her down the hallway and out into the blinding sunlight.  The gallows hung in their forbidden glory; the rope already stained with blood from its previous victims.  Her captor forced her to stand on the wooden box as he slipped the noose over her neck.  It felt warm and wet against her skin.  Liora glanced to the right, seeing the small bodies of the other children, lying in the dirt and discarded like a meal grown cold.  Some still had their eyes open as if trying to see a future that never came.  Liora felt the hot tears trickling down her cheeks as the man adjusted the noose.

“… her sentence will be to hang until dead.  May God have mercy on her soul.”

Only a godless people could do this.  Liora took a deep breath as the box was kicked from beneath her and she died in vain.



Hope everyone has a great day!

38 comments:

  1. This is so sad!! What a powerful way to use 200 words. You did a great job!

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  2. Duuuuuuuuude. I could see it all happening. You put me right in the middle of it - great read.

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  3. I had to laugh when you wished everyone a great day at the end. Not a very happy story, but very powerful.

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  4. Chilling piece. Hi, fellow campaigner, now I have to write one. BTW, I like your new layout. pretty ribbons.

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  5. Yikes! I would have liked a hint of why they were being killed...

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  6. Ooooo. High impact words. Nice work.

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  7. Whoa! Was she a witch or something? Cool! :)

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  8. I liked that. Creepy. And I love creepy.

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  9. My #1 favorite in this campaign! Very cool :)

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  10. 'I had to laugh when you wished everyone a great day at the end.'

    Lol, me too. You had us so in the moment, that when your cheery self came back in we were jolted out of it! Great piece, Krista :)

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  11. the tension! no hero to save her? bummer, but well written!

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  12. Definitely made me wonder what had happened to have someone hanging children :S Good job - nice and eerie.

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  13. Those poor little children. It really tugged at my heart. Children are such innocents. I must admit I'm wondering what caused this mass hanging. Sounds so witch-hunter-Salem-esque.

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  14. Man, what was this, Dickensian London? Hung for stealing food? Nice job! New follower here, stopping over from the campaign trail:)

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  15. I shivered when I read the "it felt warm and wet against her skin" because even though it's probably wet from rain, I was just picturing it all bloody and gross...

    I really like this!

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  16. The tension was amazing. I gasped with the ending. Well done!

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  17. LOL - Okay, I just have to laugh how you put "hope everyone has a great day" at the end of the post. The complete seriousness of the short story and then a happy thought! You are awesome. I love it all. Great job!

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  18. Yikes, I was so hoping she'd be saved in the end. Powerful stuff here!

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  19. Loved the descriptions :) Nice job. Very well written.

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  20. Krista, I'm stopping by to let you know your story was one of my top 5 in this challenge. So, your story will advance to stage 2 in this challenge. Good luck. - Stacy

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  21. Wow, morbid and sad! Your descriptions were excellent. I'm with Julie--I kept wanting someone to save her!

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  22. Heavens! That was mega grim! Oh dear poor things.

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  23. No! Why? Ah! How terribly sad. You really yanked on my heart with that one. Great entry, Krista! :)

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  24. Thank you for all of the wonderful comments! :)

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  25. Oh how sad and powerful writing!

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  26. Wowzers, that was powerful, great entry!

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  27. yikes! Why! Why!.... is what I wanna know...lol.

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  28. Lol I'm going to have to agree with everyone else...there needs to be a why! Longer short story, possibly? :P Great entry!

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  29. Ooh, this is really good (and sad). Awesome job. I'm going to vote for it right now!!!

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  30. But whhyyyyy??! 0.0 Where's a hero when you need one? ;) Goodness, great read, was drawn right in with your descriptions.
    Actually chuckled to myself when you wished everyone a "great day". Lol!

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  31. I love how this is written. I have to agree with Amanda - With the next line after the senseless hanging being: have a great day - I lol'd

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  32. This sounds like a section from a greater wip - I would like to read more. Poor little children, I can't help but wonder why they were all hung.

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  33. Quite a sick world. Would love to meet the protag who turns this around!

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  34. Scary and tense. Well-written. Why would anyone hang children? Good job.

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