Monday, February 20, 2012

First Campaign Challenge

It's time for the First Campaign Challenge of the 4th campaign!  The challenge is:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count. 
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:
  • end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)
  • include the word "orange" in the story
  • write in the same genre you normally write
  • make your story 200 words exactly!

Here is my entry:

No Escape

Shadows crept across the wall, blurring as they moved quickly.  Screaming.  Aaron pulled his knees to his chest, and attempted to block out the sounds of his mother’s screams.  Desperate, pleading.  He clutched the little orange bear to his chest as tears trickled down his cheeks.  A sob threatened to escape from his lips as his mother’s screams ceased.  She was gone. 

“Find him!” the Guard yelled into the cold night.  “He will not escape.”

Rocking back and forth in his hiding place, Aaron waited all night.  The rusted smell of blood reached his nose and his veins heated with anger, but he stayed.  A pale sun rose that morning; red as the blood that had been spilled in the night.  Aaron crept from his hiding place, stepping into his nightmare.  No surface was untouched by the crimson liquid or the scent of death.  His father, mother, and even his twin sister, Ariela.  Their eyes were vacant, forever staring at their own fate.  Aaron knelt down by Ariela, holding her cold hand in his.  A tear dropped onto her cheek as he brushed his lips across her forehead.

“I love you,” he whispered.

At five years old, Aaron was alone.


200 words exactly!  I decided to do a little background story for one of my minor characters in my WIP "Nameless".  If you liked it, please go vote for me here!  I am entry #38.  Thank you!

Hope you liked it! :)

36 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh, that's so sad!! I wish I knew more of the story too! I used my flash fiction from my WiP, too. You're story sounds like one I'd read. Voting for you!

    I'm entry #19

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  2. Wow that was powerful! I loved it.

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  3. It takes some serious skill to create a complete story in so few words! Great job!

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  4. Holy dramatic... it was very piercing to me... because I envisioned everything so black and white save for the orange bear... nice work here :D

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  5. Oh my gosh! My heart is breaking. Seriously breaking. It's a good thing this couldn't be more than 200 words, or you'd have me in tears. Beautiful writing and so powerful. Great job!

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  6. how terrifying! poor little guy has to grow up fast! nice job =)

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  7. So good! You evoked such powerful emotions! Quite impressive.

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  8. Have I told you how cool your blog title is? Jelly beans are my kryptonite. And your story is ominous, in a good way. Nice one! :)

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  9. Aww, that was so sad! Great work! :)

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  10. Wow, yikes! He's only five? Poor kid.

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  11. *shivers* Oh my goodness. That was intense. Very well done.

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  12. Sounds horrible to say, but I really liked the way you described their deaths. The vacant eyes 'staring at their own fate' line, LOVED it.

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  13. This was the saddest thing I've ever read. It's good but now I'm teary. Poor Aaron...

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  14. Hey there! New campaigner here finally making the rounds.

    That was sad. But beautifully written.

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  15. I was sucked right into this - well done! Great emotion and bittersweet.

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  16. Awww that was so sad! But very beautifully written! :) Nice job!

    I'm #37

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  17. Very sad! I loved it though. :) So much description - excellent job.

    Michelle :)
    www.michelle-pickett.com/blog

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  18. This isn't a poem, but the language was so lyrical! This sadness was portrayed very well. Heartbreaking.

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  19. Ooh, very nice atmosphere. I like it. It definitely intrigued me, and I wanted to read more. Well done!

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  20. That was so sad, I'm totally depressed now...

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  21. Aw! That's so sad! And now I suppose his life journey begins! Great post!

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  22. I'm echoing David to say that I was quite smitten with your blog title. Nice campaign entry too.

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  23. Wow! Can you say, "troubled childhood"? Good luck in the contest. :)

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  24. Oh, I do I do like it! So much drama, you really made me feel for Aaron.

    I'm #109 if you wanna check it out.

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  25. God! How awful! (Story, not writing.) At first I thought it was a domestic abuse scenario, then it turned into something even more nightmarish. I love your one and two word sentences, they really build the tension. I guess Aaron is going to have to grow up pretty fast.

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  26. Nice to meet you. Good luck with A-Z. I look forward to your posts.

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  27. Such a heart-wrenching story but beautifully written!

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  28. Very intense and powerful! I'd definitely be interested in reading more. Is it supposed to be set during the Shoah? If so, I also write about that time period.

    #123

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  29. A tearjerker in 200 words. Kudos.

    #169

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  30. Aww how sad this is. What's going to happen to him? I want to know :-)

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