The story revolves around a group of children that are healers, but because of the king's decree - they are being hunted and slaughtered. Seventeen-year-old Edom is the oldest healer to ever survive and he does his best to protect his sister, Liora, and a large group of others. The Guard desperately want him dead. It's a very emotional story and I just love writing it! :)
I decided to share the scene where Edom meets the villainous king after a failed rescue attempt towards the beginning of the story.
_________
“We
think it’s him, Achieus,” one said.
“He’s the one that the king wants.”
Without
warning, Achieus wrapped his fingers around Edom’s hair and yanked, forcing him
to look up at him. His face was scarred,
the lines crossing each other like wrinkles in the bark of a tree. His age was well beyond the others and his
shoulders were hunched. Achieus looked
upon Edom for a moment before looking away.
He released Edom’s hair and took a step back.
“Take
the others to the cells.” Achieus’ voice
was hoarse and soft, but no one would challenge him. “King Alined is still awake. Have him come to the throne room. He will be very pleased with this one.”
“Yes
sir.”
Edom
fought the hold of the man as he watched Elijah, Leetov, and the little ones as
they were taken away. Achieus nodded
once and Edom was forced to walk towards the palace. His captor squeezed his arms tightly. The heavy doors opened slowly and they stepped
into the darkness of the front hall.
Candles were lit and guided the way down the corridor. Edom’s wet feet almost slipped on the smooth
stone floor. He could see the long
shadows of paintings upon the wall and tapestries detailing the legacy of the
kings before. The only sound was the thumping
of the Guard’s feet and heavy breathing.
Edom
was forced to wait outside two large doors as more candles were lit. A few minutes later, he was admitted to the
Throne Room. Candelabras lined the
walls, along with glass windows letting in the flashes of light from the
sky. Edom walked up the dark purple
carpet as he felt his stomach churning.
Seated upon soft pillowed cushions on the raised part of the floor was
King Alined, the man that Edom hated more than the Guard. The king was dressed in a long white
nightshirt, yawning as two women fanned him from the heat in the stuffy
room. His blond hair was long and
straight, resting upon his shoulders.
Green eyes stared at Edom as he was brought forward and forced to his
knees. Edom stared at the two scantily
clad women tending to the king. Both
were dressed in small garments that barely covered their most intimate places
and were adorned with beads in their curly hair and dozens of gold bracelets on
each wrist. That was not what caught his
attention about the women. Each one was
wearing a metal anklet with a chain, tethering them to the stone. They were the king’s slaves of promiscuity
and even they could not be free of him.
“Kneel
before your king,” Achieus hissed, kicking the back of Edom’s knees and letting
him stumble until he was kneeling before the king.
“What
have you brought me?” King Alined inquired.
“He
was caught trying to rescue a group of six traitors from a hut. He and two others broke into your city to
take them. I believe that this is the
one you’ve heard rumors of. He’s too
old.”
King
Alined sat up a little straighter at the news.
“Are you certain?”
“Yes,
your majesty.”
The
king nodded and Edom felt the gag behind untied before it fell from his
mouth. He coughed, trying to clean the
dirt from his lungs. It had been all
over the gag.
“What
is your name, healer?” the king demanded.
Edom
pursed his lips. He would not speak to
the man that had ordered his kind to be murdered. Achieus smacked him across the face at his
refusal, drawing blood from Edom’s lip.
The young man didn’t make a sound.
It was a bitter rusty taste in his mouth.
“You
will answer the king when he speaks to you,” Achieus ordered.
“Tell
me your name,” King Alined repeated.
Again,
Edom was struck without an answer.
“He’s
your king, you will show him respect.”
“Never,”
Edom spat. “You are no king of
mine. You’ve killed some many children
and their innocent blood is on your hands!
Murderer! I will never show
respect to you.”
__________
See? I just am in love with this story and the characters totally hook you! Please forgive any mistakes, I'm still writing this story and haven't edited anything yet. :)
What do you think about this murdering king and Edom?
I loved it! I was pulled in right away. I wanted to know more about what drove Edom and why the king is so threatened by him.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your descriptions. I could visualize the scene.
Excellent job!
Michelle :)
www.michelle-pickett.com/blog
Thank you Michelle! It's always my fear that there will be too much descriptions or not enough. I'm so happy that you could visualize it! :)
DeleteDefinitely got some emotion going on there :-)
ReplyDeleteyou have beautifully written and described the situation
ReplyDeleteI could actually feel it
Definitely well written :)
Wonderful. Delightful. I love your blog.
ReplyDeleteWowza, you can really write girl! And I'm with Edom on this one. ;)
ReplyDelete*blushes* Thanks Cassie! :)
DeleteGreat description! I really felt like I was there.
ReplyDeleteOh, I love your premise! I think it sounds like a great story and potentially series. It's a little disorienting to work with no title--at least for me it is. But you don't want to do it until you have the RIGHT one...
ReplyDeleteThank you Hart! I've actually got plans for the second one running around in my head too. :) Ah, but that is the title! Nameless. I chose that title because the children that are being killed are being killed without thought and some as newborns, so we they never even had a name. These children are the nameless ones. :)
DeleteThis sounds SO COOL! I love that you've shared! Powerful writing! LOVE IT! :)
ReplyDeleteThat's great! And the title is very appropriate. Great description!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to check out another writer's A-Z posts. Your story sounds great! Good luck with it. You have a lovely blog and a new follower.
ReplyDeleteGreat excerpt! I can already tell it must be an emotionally charged book- I can see why you're having so much fun with it!
ReplyDeleteYou have to let me know if you're ever looking for a critique partner! I'd love to see what else you've done with this :)
Thank you Katie! It is so emotionally charged and fun, though sad at the same time. I will definitely pen you in if you'd like to be a critique partner for this book when it's ready. :D
Delete