Monday, April 16, 2012

N is for Nameless

Nameless is my current WIP and even though I've shared little snippets, I wanted to share another scene from it.  I'm working on it diligently and I have to say that I really love the characters in this book.  This might actually be my favorite novel of the ones that I've written. :)  I've already got ideas in my mind about the second book!!

The story revolves around a group of children that are healers, but because of the king's decree - they are being hunted and slaughtered.  Seventeen-year-old Edom is the oldest healer to ever survive and he does his best to protect his sister, Liora, and a large group of others.  The Guard desperately want him dead.  It's a very emotional story and I just love writing it! :)

I decided to share the scene where Edom meets the villainous king after a failed rescue attempt towards the beginning of the story. 

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“We think it’s him, Achieus,” one said.  “He’s the one that the king wants.”
Without warning, Achieus wrapped his fingers around Edom’s hair and yanked, forcing him to look up at him.  His face was scarred, the lines crossing each other like wrinkles in the bark of a tree.  His age was well beyond the others and his shoulders were hunched.  Achieus looked upon Edom for a moment before looking away.  He released Edom’s hair and took a step back.
“Take the others to the cells.”  Achieus’ voice was hoarse and soft, but no one would challenge him.  “King Alined is still awake.  Have him come to the throne room.  He will be very pleased with this one.”
“Yes sir.”
Edom fought the hold of the man as he watched Elijah, Leetov, and the little ones as they were taken away.  Achieus nodded once and Edom was forced to walk towards the palace.  His captor squeezed his arms tightly.  The heavy doors opened slowly and they stepped into the darkness of the front hall.  Candles were lit and guided the way down the corridor.  Edom’s wet feet almost slipped on the smooth stone floor.  He could see the long shadows of paintings upon the wall and tapestries detailing the legacy of the kings before.  The only sound was the thumping of the Guard’s feet and heavy breathing. 
Edom was forced to wait outside two large doors as more candles were lit.  A few minutes later, he was admitted to the Throne Room.  Candelabras lined the walls, along with glass windows letting in the flashes of light from the sky.  Edom walked up the dark purple carpet as he felt his stomach churning.  Seated upon soft pillowed cushions on the raised part of the floor was King Alined, the man that Edom hated more than the Guard.  The king was dressed in a long white nightshirt, yawning as two women fanned him from the heat in the stuffy room.  His blond hair was long and straight, resting upon his shoulders.  Green eyes stared at Edom as he was brought forward and forced to his knees.  Edom stared at the two scantily clad women tending to the king.  Both were dressed in small garments that barely covered their most intimate places and were adorned with beads in their curly hair and dozens of gold bracelets on each wrist.  That was not what caught his attention about the women.  Each one was wearing a metal anklet with a chain, tethering them to the stone.  They were the king’s slaves of promiscuity and even they could not be free of him.
“Kneel before your king,” Achieus hissed, kicking the back of Edom’s knees and letting him stumble until he was kneeling before the king.
“What have you brought me?” King Alined inquired.
“He was caught trying to rescue a group of six traitors from a hut.  He and two others broke into your city to take them.  I believe that this is the one you’ve heard rumors of.  He’s too old.”
King Alined sat up a little straighter at the news.  “Are you certain?”
“Yes, your majesty.”
The king nodded and Edom felt the gag behind untied before it fell from his mouth.  He coughed, trying to clean the dirt from his lungs.  It had been all over the gag. 
“What is your name, healer?” the king demanded.
Edom pursed his lips.  He would not speak to the man that had ordered his kind to be murdered.  Achieus smacked him across the face at his refusal, drawing blood from Edom’s lip.  The young man didn’t make a sound.  It was a bitter rusty taste in his mouth.
“You will answer the king when he speaks to you,” Achieus ordered.
“Tell me your name,” King Alined repeated.
Again, Edom was struck without an answer. 
“He’s your king, you will show him respect.”
“Never,” Edom spat.  “You are no king of mine.  You’ve killed some many children and their innocent blood is on your hands!  Murderer!  I will never show respect to you.”

__________

See?  I just am in love with this story and the characters totally hook you!  Please forgive any mistakes, I'm still writing this story and haven't edited anything yet. :)

What do you think about this murdering king and Edom?

15 comments:

  1. I loved it! I was pulled in right away. I wanted to know more about what drove Edom and why the king is so threatened by him.

    I really liked your descriptions. I could visualize the scene.

    Excellent job!
    Michelle :)
    www.michelle-pickett.com/blog

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    1. Thank you Michelle! It's always my fear that there will be too much descriptions or not enough. I'm so happy that you could visualize it! :)

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  2. Definitely got some emotion going on there :-)

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  3. you have beautifully written and described the situation
    I could actually feel it
    Definitely well written :)

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  4. Wonderful. Delightful. I love your blog.

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  5. Wowza, you can really write girl! And I'm with Edom on this one. ;)

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  6. Great description! I really felt like I was there.

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  7. Oh, I love your premise! I think it sounds like a great story and potentially series. It's a little disorienting to work with no title--at least for me it is. But you don't want to do it until you have the RIGHT one...

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    1. Thank you Hart! I've actually got plans for the second one running around in my head too. :) Ah, but that is the title! Nameless. I chose that title because the children that are being killed are being killed without thought and some as newborns, so we they never even had a name. These children are the nameless ones. :)

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  8. This sounds SO COOL! I love that you've shared! Powerful writing! LOVE IT! :)

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  9. That's great! And the title is very appropriate. Great description!

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  10. I wanted to check out another writer's A-Z posts. Your story sounds great! Good luck with it. You have a lovely blog and a new follower.

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  11. Great excerpt! I can already tell it must be an emotionally charged book- I can see why you're having so much fun with it!

    You have to let me know if you're ever looking for a critique partner! I'd love to see what else you've done with this :)

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    1. Thank you Katie! It is so emotionally charged and fun, though sad at the same time. I will definitely pen you in if you'd like to be a critique partner for this book when it's ready. :D

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