Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Insecure Writer's Support Group

Hi, my name is Krista and I have insecurities about writing.

Hello, Krista.  (group mumbles in unison)

And today, I'm finally joining Alex Cavanaugh's: The Insecure Writer's Support Group, which posts on the first Wednesday of every month.  Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!  Whew, I am here!

My first visit to the Insecure Writer's Support Group will be about.... (creepy music).... lack of support with writing.

My family has never really been supportive of my writing.  When I said that I wanted to be a writer as a child, it was always - "Hmm... why not be a doctor or a teacher?"  Why not?  Because I don't wanna be a teacher or a doctor.  I want to write books and be an author.  It's my passion.  My older sister has always told me to go for it, but my parents... never.  As a little girl, I was always writing stories in notebooks and constantly had my nose in a book, reading and learning more about what makes a good story.  I read the whole series of "The Lord of the Rings" when I was eleven.  Not exactly light reading for an eleven-year-old.

I was born to be a writer, an author, a dreamer. 

It's just hard not to have my family supporting me, but I've slowly realized that I have a writing community who has the same struggles and my friends and followers are behind me, believing in me and helping me grow as a writer.  I have friends that are always jumping to read what I've written and give me constructive criticism.  That makes me feel a little better, but there's always that nagging thought of my family.  Oh well.  I will be a writer, whether they support me or not. 

I will not quit writing.

Does your family support your dream of writing and being an author? 

42 comments:

  1. My parents do, but I don't think my husband really takes my passion for writing very seriously. That's hard, as you know, but like you, I'm not going to quit.

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    1. We will both not be quitters together. :) It is hard, but we can support each other. :)

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  2. My parents have always supported me, but I have other family members who have been like "Yeah, really? Sounds like you have your head in the clouds." We all have people in our lives who question us.

    All I can say is, when you know what you were born to be, you have to go for it regardless. Here in the Insecure Writer's Support Group, I think you'll find all the support you need.

    Maybe once you really start establishing yourself as a writer, your family will come around.

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    1. I like that - we all have people in our lives who question us. It's very true. Those people will always exist.

      Thanks! I'm really glad that I found this support group because I'll probably need it again.

      I hope my family will come around someday, if not it is their loss.

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  3. Such is the life of most writers. At least we are very lucky in this day and age to have a way to connect with other writers who will support us. And here in the blogosphere, the more you reach out, the more you will receive in kind.

    Welcome to the IWSG! You'll love it here! Alex is the BEST!!!

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    1. I'm very glad that we have a way to reach out to other writers; it's comforting. I will definitely keep reaching out!

      Thanks! I've heard that Alex is pretty awesome.

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  4. Oh, Krista, that totally makes me sad for you. I don't know what I'd do without the support of my family. But. And this is a huge but... I think having people who know EXACTLY what I'm going through (other writers) are such a huge support. Sometimes better than family. They've been there done that or are at the same stage as me. Rely on them. You can rely on me too! Hang in there. You can do it, even without your family by your side.

    You situation makes me think of the story of Matilda. Such a cute story of a girl who loved to read but lacked the support of her family.

    PS: I read LOTR when I was 19. It was a huge feat for me. Whoosh! I bow in your glory for reading it at 11. You rock!

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    1. Thank you Julia! Having other writers to rely on is really encouraging. I'm hanging in there, barely some days, but still hanging. I loved the story of Matilda, now if I only had some awesome powers to move stuff with my mind...

      P.S. Thanks! It was definitely the longest book I read at that age and it took a lot to get me to finish. It's one of my all-time favorites now. Congrats to you to finishing it at 19! That's still an accomplishment!

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  5. I am sorry you don't have family support, but I've found the blogosphere to be a WONDERFUL support group. Hang in there and just like the Little Red Hen, they'll all come around in the end.

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    1. Thank you Jenn! The blogosphere is a great support group! I'm so grateful that it exists!

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  6. Hey Krista. Nice to meet you. I also just joined the IWSG. I can relate to how you feel about not getting enough/any support from your family. I'm pretty much in the same boat myself. But like you and others have said, this day and age affords we writer various ways to reach out to not only our peers, but to readers too. It still blows my mind on those odd days when a complete stranger decides to buy one of my self-pubbed books on Amazon. :D

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    1. Hi Michael! Nice to meet you too! This digital age is very helpful and encouraging to us as writers and I'm glad that we can reach out in such a manner. That would be mind blowing to me too! :)

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  7. Welcome to Alex's A*W*E*S*O*M*E group!!! So sorry to hear your family doesn't support you:( Half my fam is scared they'll show up in my book in an unfavored light (welllll, I change their names, geesh;) and the other half thinks, why haven't you gotten a book deal-it's been 3 yrs! "I've heard self-publishing is the way to go" blah, blah, blah. My biggest pet peeve these days is people telling me about writing that know NOTHING about writing. My biggest cheerleader is my 12-year-old daughter, who also inspires to be a writer and maintains her own blog. And I'll NEVER tell her to become a teacher b/c I'm one of those. Hence, why I'm trying to become a pub'd author;) Wow, thanks for letting me vent on your blog. I needed that:) Again, welcome, welcome, welcome!!!

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    1. Hi Jamie! :) Have you ever seen the t-shirt "Be careful or you'll end up in my book"? That's what it reminds me of. I think it's great that your daughter inspires you to write. And you are welcome for the vent! It's great to meet you!

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  8. My family have supported me in being a writer, which is awesome. My dad, in particular, loves that I like to write stories. But there are always people who will doubt you, be it family or others. Good for you for not quitting!

    Allison (Geek Banter)

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    1. That's awesome that your dad supports you like that! :) People will always be doubters, but we writers are not quitters. :) Thanks Allison! :)

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  9. That would be tough to not have much family support. I'm blessed that my hubby has encouraged me to go full steam ahead. And my parents seem supportive too. I wish I would have pursued my dreams two decades ago but at the time I was too insecure and it took me a long time to go for it. So I think you are awesome that you are going for it even when you didn't (or don't) have tons of support.

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    1. That's great that your husband supports you, Leslie. :) It's okay that you took your time because you are going for it now. :) I think I'm getting a lot of spot in the blogosphere and that feels very encouraging. :)

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  10. They support me as much as a non-writer can :) My sister even read my stuff first, asking questions, and helping guide my story. I'm almost done with your next 20 pages :) Good suff!

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    1. My older sister reads my stuff too and gives me suggestions. I'm excited to read your thought on those 20 pages! Your suggestions are very helpful! :)

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  11. Hi! Visiting from the IWSG! :) Luckily, my family supports my writing ambitions. But please know that the online writers' community is an awesome family and support system as well. :)

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    1. Hi Margo! I'm glad that your family supports you and this online writing community is pretty awesome. :)

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  12. Nice intro! "Hello, Krista." - part of the group

    To answer your question, my parents never supported anything I did and certainly take no interest now... so what am I doing? Writing a memoir about it, of course! You are right though, there is a great sense of support from the online blogging community and I am only just now discovering it. Quite a breath of fresh air, right? So, from one insecure writer to another... thank you for putting yourself out there, sharing your story and most of all, inspiring others to keep going.

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    1. Thanks! :) I'm glad to be part of this group.

      We with parents that didn't support us need to stick together - we can do this and the online blogging community is really great in this way. It's very encouraging to find other writers with the same struggles and we can help each other. :) Thank you for doing the same. :)

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  13. My family fear me enough to respect my writing time ;)

    I guess parents worry for us and any art industry like painting, acting or writing does not promise an income. I can understand them trying to sway their little girl from possible heartache, what they don't realise is that heartache feeds our writing.

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    1. I can understand where my parents were concerned about no money, but I just wanted them to tell me to go for it. They didn't. Heartache does feed the writing though and I have this wonderful online community for support. :)

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  14. People who love what they do don't quit it, they retire from it loaded. You can quote me on that. lol

    I can see what you're saying about support, my friend. I look at things through a different lens in that support or not, I am going to write, write, write!

    When the checks and the recognition come in the support i sure to follow, but by then you will neither want nor need it.

    Keep pushing on and hold that head up determined to JUST DO IT (Thanks, Nike)!

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    1. I like that quote. :) I am going to write and write some more. That's very true - I may not need it. I am very determined. Thanks Jeremy!

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  15. My parents never had a problem with my writing but my sibblings that is my brother and sister, when they first got to know I write blogs just because I love writing they started making fun of me and names my writing passion as "a jobless act". Anyhow it still doesn't affect me as I love writing and no one can take out that passion from me, I am addicted to my blog I love my blog and I love visiting it everyday and try to write at least everyday.

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  16. I'm so glad you have joined the IWSG, it's great to meet you! I'm sorry you don't have support from your family, but I think you have definitely come to the right place to get it now. The IWSG is such a wonderful group and I'm amazed how supportive all the members I've encountered are. :)

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  17. Welcome to the IWSG!
    It's a bummer your family isn't more supportive. But that's what makes this online community so awesome. You WILL find support here!

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  18. I'm lucky that my wife is supportive (as long as I get all my other chores done first, of course), which surprised me a bit since I've never shown an interest in writing until now. And my daughter is pushing me to finish my story so she can read it. However, I don't mention my writing endeavors to many others outside the family.

    Thank goodness for support groups like IWSG.

    I see you've written fan fiction, which is what my IWSG post was all about.

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  19. That's too bad about your family. Some people just don't 'get it.' But hopefully you will find support elsewhere. (Like here.) :)

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  20. It's tough when your family don't support you because, ultimately, it's their approval you will always want. But you're right, there is a wonderful writing community out there full of support, encouragement, advice and friendship. Make the most of it and then, when you're a bestselling author, your family will be so proud!

    Wecome to IWSG.

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  21. That's tough. My family thought it was a nice hobby, but they were always telling me to go the more practical route. My husband is also a very practical man, and he's happy to give up some of his time with me so I can write. Yet he's not read anything I wrote except a few short stories. He just doesn't get the whole writing thing. I'm so grateful for the writing community. That's where I find my encouragement and support.

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  22. i hear so many writers that get complete support from family. i'm so relieved to know someone else in my stand alone camp! my parents are supportive, but my hub treats it like a hobby that should come last in our priorities...sorry, i get my work done & cinderella needs time to herself! this is important to me!!!

    yay for this awesome community and keep writing !

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  23. So -- most people who aren't writers consider writing as they do the NBA. (But they don't respect or value us nearly as much as professional athletes.) They're not wrong. It's tough to make a career out of writing just like it's tough to make a career out of basketball. Writers tend to be humble. We're content to write our stories and be unappreciated and invisible -- career minded people can't quite wrap their brain around it. Parents want comfortable, happy lives for their children. It's why I pray every night that my daughters excel in math and science like their father. Our craft will always seem strange and silly, and those closest to us -- whether they mean to or not -- will respond to our efforts with face palms and eye rolls.

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  24. Great post. So glad I found you from the IWSG, because you're saying what I've been thinking for years. Writing is hard enough as it is (never mind being successful at it) and if you don't have people in your life who understand and support you that just makes it so much more difficult. My mom and aunt have always been supportive, but the rest of my family are very distant and uninterested. Especially my wife. Basically, I could apply Tara Tyler's comment to my own situation. Just this morning my wife huffed at me that I'm always writing and I always say "I'm almost done" but I never stop. She has no concept of how long it takes just to finish a first draft, and that if I had more support in my everyday life I probably would have taken classes and found great critique groups and online friends and learned to be more efficient. Maybe if I was able to make a career out of writing she'd be more supportive. But there's only one way to do that, right?

    Really wish I would have read this 10 years ago, when I gave up the dream b/c those around me said it was "unrealistic" and "a waste of time" But there are so many ways to learn and grow and enjoy writing even if it's not a profitable career. Thank you for reminding us of that!

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  25. Welcome to IWSG. I can totally relate to the not being supported thing. That's why you have us! :)

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  26. I am so sorry to hear that your family doesn't support you. That does suck. My fam supports me but I don't think they understand me. At least you can get great support from the web, fellow bloggers, etc.

    I hope that you keep up the writing! You always have friends here.

    Andrea

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  27. Oh gosh, no. I've written several posts over the years about the lack of support. My kids support me, but extended family, some snicker. I keep telling myself, "One day..." That's the sort of attitude I have to have to keep pushing myself.

    Welcome to IWSG!! Btw, your blog is adorable. :)

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  28. Keep on writing, Krista! I only write for fun at this point. Maybe I'm too afraid to do it for more than that. Anyway, my husband used to tease me about the blogging I did. I think he thought I could have been doing something more 'productive', until one day I forwarded him an article about how to support the writers you know. I titled the email "Bloggers are writers, too". And a light turned on for him. He understands me more now, and his jokes about my blogging have all but disappeared. What can I say, he's a great guy! Here's the awesome article: http://www.rachellegardner.com/2012/04/for-the-ones-you-love/

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