Wednesday, October 3, 2012

IWSG - Bitterness?

It's time for another installation of The Insecure Writer's Support Group, which posts on the first Wednesday of every month.  Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

This time I'd like to talk about struggling with bitterness.  On one hand, I am incredibly excited for my fellow writers to find agents and get publishing deals.  But on the other hand, it makes me feel bitter. 

What do they have that I don't have?  Can I ever be good enough?  Should I write more like that author?  Maybe I should write a book like that?


I want to be happy for my friends who find agents and are published, but sometimes I'm just a little bitter about it. 

We all have the same dream.  There are bound to be a few who never make it?  It's sad and a bit frustrating.

I don't wanna give up on my dream.  But, I'm a bit bitter of those who succeed and I'm still deep in the trenches.  I have to remind myself not to be bitter and to rejoice in their happiness.  Someday, someday.

Do you feel discouraged when another writer finds an agent?


  1. I haven't ever felt discouraged when another writer finds an agent. If anything, I find it encouraging. I love knowing that another hard working writer has managed to achieve their goal - it makes ME want to work harder.

    That said, I can completely understand the feelings of frustration, and I know you're not alone. All you can do is keep on trying, and one day, you WILL get where you want to be!

  2. I understand how you feel, and I've felt it too from time to time. We just need to keep working, and know that if our writing friends are finding success, we can too. It's probably easier said than done, but one day you could be the one landing the big break. We just have to believe it.

  3. I think we all have moments like that :-/ (BTW, kudos to you for admitting it--it's a hard thing to confess!) In all honesty, it used to be a big problem for me, but what I've come to realize, is that everyone's journey is different--just like with everything in life. I don't think I've ever met ANYONE who's path to getting published was the same. All you can do is focus on yourself and what's right for YOU! I truly believe that if people work hard and are determined enough, they'll get there!

  4. It's definitely understandable to be a little envious of someone else's success. It seems like such a crapshoot sometimes - so many great writers never get their story out there, while others with equal (or lesser) talent get major publishing deals. But hopefully you can convert that frustration into creative energy and make your story the best it can be. Then somewhere down the road other authors will be jealous of your success! :)

  5. I understand this feeling. Its a very human reaction. It doesn't have to just apply to writing- some people feel this way when friends start having families, get married, get an awesome new job, move into a new home etc. I tend to find I am less likely to feel this way when I have something positive going on in my own life, but it can really depend on whats happening etc. You know, some of this is down to luck, and some of this is down to timing...but if you're working hard, you will reap the benefit of it eventually. And you may well come across a stroke of luck like one of your friends. Wish you the best!

  6. Nice to meet you through the IWSG! I think it's only natural to feel a little bit competitive with other writers, but a little healthy competition is good motivation to work harder. This is such a supportive community, and I'm sure you'll find the resources to move full speed ahead. Julie

  7. May I join the ISWG? I think we all feel, no matter how many books we write and good reviews we receive, that we can never measure up.

  8. No. I really don't think anything about whether or not someone is agented. I'm pleased if they are pleased. If they sell a manuscript I'm really happy for them and will support them in any way I can. To me it's a waste of time to envy anyone's success in this business. It just kills the joy.

    Nice to read your post about insecurity!