Saturday, December 13, 2014

'Tis the Season for Questions

I know I've not posted much lately, but work has been pretty busy. I work at a retail store part-time, so that makes me busy. Also I start a third job in the beginning on 2015. I'll be an educational assistant in a preschool in the mornings, a nanny in the afternoon, and working retail one afternoon and on the weekends. Am I a bit crazy? Probably, but hopefully it will help out with some financial struggles. They never tell you in high school that after college you might never get your dream job and that you might end up working several jobs to pay rent and eat food other than macaroni and cheese, which I've discovered you can actually get sick of eating it.

Christmas and the end of the year is coming; a time when I look at my resolutions from the past year and my yearly goals to see how well I did. I suspect it won't be as good as I wanted in some areas, but good in others. I won't do the full review of them until the last day of the year.

But it's making me wonder a little bit about one of the goals always hanging over my head. To make it count this year. To make it as an author. And I don't mean sell a national best-seller because I know it doesn't happen to everyone. But, at the same time I want to be more than a self-published novella with a few good reviews and a few books tucked in the hollows of my computer.

What am I going to be as an author?

I know one of the things on my list was to find a literary agent this year. Unless it happens in the next two and a half weeks, it didn't happen this year. I'm trying, but it's harder some days than others. I feel like I'm starting to make progress and then the emails come back and they are polite passes. I just haven't found the right agent to support my book yet, but it still could happen.

It can just be hard to remember that I'm not a failure because I don't have an agent yet. I feel like there are others who started writing after me and already have agents and book deals. I know it's a subjective market and every one's journey is unique. But some days I wish my journey was more than getting a third job and then struggling to find time to pursue my actual dream in there.

Some days it just feels like it is taking longer to achieve my dream.

But at least my Christmas tree is decorated and all of my gifts are bought and wrapped! :) I'm ready for some relaxation time with my family and friends. Have a great weekend!


  1. I hope that you do find a good agent and that you don't have to keep working three jobs; I know very well what it's like to work three jobs, because I started working multiple jobs when I was in my 20s. I taught at more than one school and I also worked in retail at night and on the weekends. The holiday season was especially busy; I remember that the managers would put up a calendar with the entire months of November and December X-ed out to indicate that we weren't allowed to request any time off during the holiday shifts. So I hope that you still have time to rest and relax even after the third job starts.
    I like the Christmas tree, by the way! :)

  2. Cute tree!

    Don't forget to keep in mind everything that you already have achieved. You've released a great book entirely by yourself which is no mean feat. It can feel like we're treading water sometimes but every word you write is progress. I think you deserve an agent so the very best of luck with that. Hope you manage to enjoy a bit of rest over Christmas!