Saturday, November 7, 2015

Confession: I'm Not a Finisher

If one were to step into my apartment, push past Quincy (my cat who I think was an escapist in a previous life), NOT stare at my dirty dishes, and settle onto my couch with my Halloween pillow and leftover candy, you might want to turn on my Netflix. It pretty much sums up my writing.

Unfinished Shows
Star Trek: The Next Generation (I only have one season left)
Doctor Who (I stopped before David Tennant stops being the Doctor)
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D (I made it half way through season 1)
Firefly (I know, I'm ashamed, but I only watched the first episode)
Criminal Minds (I really only watch a few, skipping around)
NCIS (I've seen every episode, until Ziva left and then I stopped watching)
H20 Mermaids (I only have one season left)
Mako Mermaids (Yes, I have a mermaid problem and I stopped after season 1)
Jane the Virgin (I just started this one, but I already might stop)
Gilmore Girls (I watched all of season 1, skipped around, and watched the last season)
Parenthood (I stopped after season 2)
.... etc .....

Finished Shows
Merlin (it took me a year after the series ended to finish)
Sherlock (I just watched the most recent episode two months ago)
 M*A*S*H (I actually binge watched this series in two and a half months)

(Yes, I finished Star Trek: Voyager and Enterprise before they were on Netflix, so I don't count them.) There's a bit of a problem with the first list. It's not that I don't like those shows since I LOVE Star Trek and Doctor Who, but I'm not a finisher. Yes, I'm a busy person with two jobs and attempting to be a writer, but that's not it.

I don't like things to end.

Right in the feels...
Maybe it stems from some childhood thing or it's just the bits and pieces of my life added together to make me not like when things end. I hate reading to the end of a book series and I'll take as much time as I can. I love things too much to let them end. That's why most of those shows are unfinished. I don't want to stop loving a character and spending time with them. You only get to experience something for the first time, once.

But I'm that way in writing sometimes. I can't seem to write a book to the end. The amount of unfinished chunks of books on my computer is probably embarrassing. I don't know if that is the problem with the book I'm writing for NaNoWriMo this month, but I failed to finish it during the July Camp NaNoWriMo session and it's been bothering me since. I want to finish this book, but I feel like it just sucks. I know first drafts aren't supposed to be perfect, but I'm hard time seeing this one ever be good. But I want to finish it and I can't.

I'm trying NOT to let this book defeat me and I want to finish it, but... bleh, it's pretty hard. Maybe once I'm finished with this book, I will finally take the time to move some of those shows to my Finished list. Do you give up on books, TV shows, or writing because you don't want it to end?

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

IWSG - I'll Try

I'm joining in late today, but I've been thinking about what I wanted to write for this month's "Insecure Writer's Support Group", (created by our Ninja Captain Alex Cavanaugh). It's a place where writers can talk about something they are feeling insecure about without judgement or if they want to share an encouragement.

I've realized that my last months of entries have been...

So, today I thought I'd do something more encouraging. In the fifth grade classroom that I work in, the kids are reading "In the Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson" by Bette Bao Lord. It's about a young girl named Shirley who moves to America from China in 1947. She starts out not understanding a word of English and having absolutely no friends because she's different. In the chapter we read today, we finally started to find out why the title includes Jackie Robinson. Shirley asks her teacher what is so important about Jackie Robinson and her teacher goes into these beautiful two paragraphs about why he's important.

Jackie Robinson created a future for himself by breaking race barriers. He took injustice and defeated it to make his own dreams come true. Shirley finds something in common with Jackie because she was picked on by her classmates like how his teammates didn't like him. She looks up to him. The teacher in the classroom I work in started talking to the kids about how they can overcome hard things if they just try. They'll never complete anything or make a difference if they never try.

Now, you are probably wondering why I'm telling you this. Trust me, it fits. It really hit me when the teacher started talking about trying. She told the kids that they will never fulfill their dreams if they don't start. Even if they don't succeed, it doesn't mean they failed. It means that they tried and that's wonderful.

Writing sucks most days of the week. I've been working on the same book since June, struggling to even write the first draft and I don't like it. I've fought this book, wanted to give up many times, and thought of quitting writing. But I can't. Because I love to write and I'm trying to be an author. I'm trying. Some days we have to take our writing one day at a time. We won't be perfect, but we are writers because it's our passion. We try. :) We write and we don't give up. I know we aren't Jackie Robinson and will never overcome what he did, but we can try to be writers and try to make a difference in this world. I'm going to try. :)

Sunday, November 1, 2015

November Goals & NaNoWriMo

October is sadly over, along with my favorite holiday, Halloween. I did have a nice time celebrating with my family and friends! I just wish I didn't work so much. Working two jobs is just exhausting, but it's going better. It's time for an update in goals!

Here are my goals from October:
* Write to 30,000 on "Summer of Lies"

* Celebrate Halloween, my favorite holiday

* Girl's weekend in Minnesota

(We watched Mulan when we were on our girl's weekend and I kept using that line all weekend.) I didn't get any writing done other than the first page of two different novel ideas. But since it is November, I plan to do a lot of writing this month! :) I did do a lot of reading last month and read some pretty good books. (The ones in purple were reread - sometimes I just really enjoy reading a book that I love again.)

The Faerie Guardian (Creepy Hollow #1) by Rachel Morgan
The Faerie Prince (Creepy Hollow #2) by Rachel Morgan
Catching Jordan by Miranda Kenneally
How to Be Brave by E. Katherine Kottaras
Love, Lucas by Chantele Sedgewick
99 Days by Katie Cotugno
The Realms of the Gods (Immortals #4) by Tamora Pierce

I love reading! :)

Goals for November:
* Write to 50,000 words on "Summer of Lies"
My current word count is 26,215 words. Yes, I already have half of this book written, but I've struggled to write anything on it in months. Hopefully this will help out! :) I do love writing as a group.

That's my only goal for this month! With the awful retail Black Friday coming up and getting more hours at work, hopefully I can at least write my book! If you are doing NaNoWriMo this month, good luck to you! My page is here if you'd like to follow along with my progress.