Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Starting Now

It's half way through June and summer is... alright so far. I'm applying for jobs and trying to figure out what I want to do. Which involves a lot of staring at my computer, and watching reruns of "Law and Order: SVU". I have been working on one thing.

I'm a part of the YAvengers blog. I'm Thor. :)

It's something that I joined last year, but we've all been pretty busy and the blog has slowed to a stop. I've been working with one of the other members, Captain America, and helping to recruit some new members to the blog and join us! I've wanted to write again. Well, at least to write on the blog again. I haven't had much progress with working on a new novel yet. I'm still a bit stuck, but I'm working on that. I plan on spending my afternoon writing tomorrow.

Writing used to be this passion I had, but as I've been beaten a bit by the world, it has lost some meaning for me. I've become really tired of waiting for a dream that might never happen. I'm trying to find that passion again. I'm really hoping that I can find that passion again. If I find that passion again, maybe the rest of my life will start to fall into place again. It is possible that I'm putting too much pressure on my writing. I know that. But I'm getting to a point in my life where I've been pretty frustrated. Careers haven't been working out, I'm single at 27, working multiple jobs and not being able to pay bills, along with my writing dream remaining stagnant.

It's been hard the last few months.

I've had three friends make baby announcements in two days. I'm excited for them, but throwing a pity party for myself. It was hard when my friends started getting married before me and now they are having kids while I'm still painfully single. It was hard when my friends started getting agents and now they have books being published, when I can't even decide if I'm a good writer. I'm feeling a bit insecure in my life.

I'm trying to make things better, but it's really been a struggle lately. Sorry if this post was a little honest, but this is me and I'm struggling right now.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

June Goals/IWSG

It's the first day of summer! (I know it's not the official first day.) But in Iowa, June starts the beginning of summer! Today was gorgeous and at my school job, the kids got to play outside as a special party and they had a bouncy house. It was a lot of fun! I got a little sunburned, but I loved being outside.

I moved this past weekend! Which was exhausting and I'm still settling into my new apartment. But I did turn in the keys for the old today and I'm hopefully getting internet at my place on Saturday. I'm borrowing my parent's wifi today. Not having internet sucks. Last month was a bit challenging with packing, work stress, and on top of that, I had shingles! Yep, sucked. But it's healed now and I'm trying to reorganize my life this summer. That's a start.

It's time for an update in goals!

Here are my goals from May:
* Write 5,000 words

* Pack/move to new apartment

* See "Captain America: Civil War" in theaters
Super excited for this one! I'm definitely #TeamCap!

I still didn't get any writing done! Gah!! I really want to get back into writing, but time has been a big issue for me. I did do some reading.

Me Before You by Jojo Moyes
My Life Next Door by Huntley Fitzpatrick
The Year We Fell Apart by Emily Martin
This Is Where It Ends by Marieke Nijkamp

Goals for June:
* Write 5,000 words
On anything! I'm hoping to start a new novel this month!

* Write a plan for life changes
I need to write my plan and get started. :)

* See "Me Before You" in theaters!
I read the book and now I'm read to see it!


Also, today is a meeting of The Insecure Writer's Support Group, which posts on the first Wednesday of every month and is run by our Ninja Captain Alex Cavanaugh. This is a place where writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds.

To make this post short, I'm really feeling insecure about writing at all! I love it, but I'm not making the time for it. :( Hopefully I can change that this month! :)

How do you find time to write when you are unmotivated?